Day 1 - time 9.10 am!

Well today is Day 1 of being smoke free.
Connor and I had our last cigarettes at 10.30 pm last night so thats nearly 11 hours ago.
We got up this morning at 7.45 am, put on our patches and had breakfast together, usually we would get up have a smoke give Rhiley breakfast then have another smoke then get Rhi sorted for daycare then have another smoke.... by this time we would have had at least 4 smokes.
I'm finding it really difficult and getting quite stressed, I'm trying to avoid talking to Connor atm as i know i will just burst into tears .
Connor bought a new bike yesterday which cost us alot of money on finance (i wont say how much but we both agreed to get it so wasn't a selfish thing) but we now HAVE to give up smoking so we can afford to pay it, it isn't even a choice to smoke anymore i think thats what I'm struggling with, i know that both of us have to succeed or he will lose his bike but i dont think he quite understands that as he said to me if your not ready don't do it and have some more time to prepare, the payment comes out in two weeks i don't have time to prepare altho i know he was only trying to be supportive of what i want but i want someone to say YOU CAN DO IT!.
I really want to do it for him and that isn't the only reason we want to give up but that was the contract deal sort of thing and the only way we can afford it.
anyway im going to try keep myself busy today and should imagine i'll be using this blog lots today to post my thoughts, feelings ect.
I will be going for a walk shortly but might go take a glass of water outside and go sit in the sun.
will write more later